via  juugenheim  (originally  tawny)
1 month ago on 15 August 2014 ~ 7:54pm 6,770 notes

frenchdad:

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"I am here, situated in my mother’s automobile. I am pretending to drive it, although it is quite obvious that I am not in motion. While I imitate the noises of operating a vehicle, I am still sitting here, completely safe.”

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"This is NOT your vehicle, please do not claim my car as your own. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Now.

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"I’m so sorry. You’re right. I was being incredibly foolish. I can’t believe it. My intent was not to operate or control the vehicle in any manner, I was simply joking. Furthermore, I was not aware of my surroundings. I could have accidentally meddled with important systems that are vital to the operation of an automobile. Please forgive me. I’m sorry.

via  juugenheim  (originally  frenchdad)
1 month ago on 15 August 2014 ~ 7:49pm 315 notes
untreasured:

he sounds interesting
1 month ago on 15 August 2014 ~ 7:08pm 23,383 notes

officialunitedstates:

me:  goes to lowes

lowes man:  how can I help you son

me:  first of all I am not your son.  second of all im only here because I love the thick stench of wood fibers and industrial chemicals

via  lindsaychrist  (originally  officialunitedstates)
1 month ago on 12 August 2014 ~ 9:31pm 47,582 notes

What am I doin

1 month ago on 12 August 2014 ~ 9:03pm 57,155 notes

Oh yeah that’s right I’m doin me

1 month ago on 12 August 2014 ~ 9:03pm 54,624 notes
via  naomimademedoit  (originally  tibets)
1 month ago on 12 August 2014 ~ 8:24pm 140,831 notes

j5h:

oh, this old thing? *pulls out my grandma from my pocket*

via  cumsh0t  (originally  394938347342-deactivated2014092)
1 month ago on 11 August 2014 ~ 4:40pm 57,232 notes
tastefullyoffensive:

Supercat
via  dragons-in-the-highlands  (originally  mostlycatsmostly)
1 month ago on 11 August 2014 ~ 4:34pm 65,200 notes

mydogsnokes:

if u have a pet tarantula i have so many questions for u. first off what the fuck is wrong with u

via  mykindacra-zy  (originally  mydogsnokes)
1 month ago on 11 August 2014 ~ 4:32pm 252,363 notes